Clare.Life

What is Love?

2010-05-16T12:32:00.000+08:00

If somebody fall in love because - ''I just had this Feelings you are the one''. What will happened when the feeling is gone? Will the relationship end like this with a good excuse of '' I am getting bored of this.'' ?

Got hooked up by a guy and he claimed he that I am special, interesting in my own way. What happens if one day, my ''interesting'' doesn't fit his appetite anymore? Am i going to get hurt? I don't want to end up like this. Addict myself in romance makes me lose sight in reality.
He is a sweet-talker.. his words mesmerized me sometimes, but, pain I'd experienced, it slowly, unknowingly created a shell, protecting myself that nobody in this world actually know what kind of person am I. Happy-Go-Lucky, Emo Freak, Strict, or whatever you can think of.

Honestly speaking, I don't know myself either. Trust. This word is so simple, yet, it carry so many meaning, it's heavy, too heavy that once it's broken, it came pouring in to you like some thunderstorm.

Went around surfing the net and found some interesting report. :

Love lasts from 3-7 years. Romantic love only lasts one year.

It is discovered that a brain chemical is responsible for the 'first flush of love'. It is raised levels of a protein which are linked to "feelings of euphoria and dependence experienced at the start of a relationship." Ah remember the days when you were stupid in love and married that person anyway? In the long run those levels go back to normal and the love actually becomes more stable if it lasts. The love turns deeper and more companionate after the thrill is gone. Now that comes in handy if you have kids because you can pay attention to them so they don't grow up ignored and end up on the Springer Show.

Dad....I miss you

2009-12-31T22:07:00.004+08:00

Been typing, backspaced and typed again. I am not sure what's blogging anymore. But yeah, I think I should say a little of my thoughts here.
Few more hours and 2009 will turn into 2010. A new year is ahead of me, but, it's like nothing much, cause it just shows that I'd lived for another day.
I remembered that year, 2008, the very first time my dad brought us to watch the firework at Cityhall high way, the very first time..I didn't know and wouldn't expect it to be the last.
We screamed towards the firework, saying our new year resolutions, it's the most happiest memories...but everything falls apart 8 months later, what brought us, wasn't luck and good health, what's ahead of us is a total tragic. You may say you know my pain, but how can you know the pain when you didn't even experienced it yourself?
Those christian giving me bull shits, standing outside my doorway, talking those shit about bible. Just how much do they expect from me? They wish they can make me believe in god? Oh come on. Be realistic and stop dreaming? That's why I hate christian. I was total pissed off (because I am watching my show over there and somebody interrupted me with all those bible stuffs) that I asked them one question and send them off. ''Why are you going around the neighbourhood to talk about bible? To tell me about life? If that's the case, I wish to experience life MYSELF, i don't need somebody to tell me what life is all about.''
And you know, being somebody who's so much older than me, can't you act more mature in your thinking? Being so childish and self-centered. Who do you think you are? Just some ass down the alley street.
The shows about 2012 ? Let me tell you, I will watch the movie 2012 in the year 2013 and laugh at it.

God, hell, getting to know someone is a tiring job. I rather be a loner than to waste my time knowing somebody.

2009-12-27T15:07:00.000+08:00

Fucking Useless Bunch of Assholes!

Not gonna care.

2009-12-20T09:47:00.004+08:00

ROFL. Screw this.
Fate is like a Cycle. I'll just eat my combo popcorn and wait to see what's gonna happened.

因果循环, 我会吃着爆米花, 等着看即将上映的好戏.

Post anything in the blog still needs to be careful. If not, I will get myself and my family into troubles? Will get ''slap'' by someone? Then what is this blogger for? roflmao!

My conscience is clear. Those who know what's going on should know.

Things are that Simple

2009-11-25T08:37:00.003+08:00

I finally see things in a better way.
Like:
1. I should smile when my colleagues gossip about that new girl in our office ( though it's not even funny ) and I pretty hate it.
2. I should just do whatever that was being asked. Since I have plenty of hours left after I am finished with my reports (if everything is going fine)
3. I shouldn't blame the operator. Because I must understand that, they are all aunties with no IT knowledge.
4. I should learn to be patience with any matters that comes to MR CHEN YAXIN cause he just couldn't have his own stands , in another words, he is a Yes-Man.
5. I should know that long time ago that this world is practical.
6. I can resign anytime cause no matter how bad the economic is now, don't forget, I am a Singaporean.

And then, after I have settle on this particular matter with this SOMEBODY. I will private my blog. =]

Tired of life...if 2012 is the end of world. Let it be real.

2009-11-18T20:26:00.003+08:00

I am not wrong. I was right. ROFL. 4 eyes monster really thought those mistakes were made by me. Tmd...
This morning, rushed to finish up those mistakes made by ah yap. Then, I have to email him, informed him that I'd changed those mistakes.... Guess what? I got back an email asking me ''why are there so many mistakes in the report? Explain. ''
ROFL...what am I supposed to answer? ''Those reports were done by Ah yap, not me? I changed those mistakes cause Ah yap isn't free at the moment?'' LOL?
I never replied. Ah yap replied and said the report was done by her. Then this fucking 4 eyes monster kept silence. I wondered, if I AM THE ONE WHO MAKE THOSE MISTAKES, will he kept silence too? Or starts to reprimand again?
zzz

Today is the first time in my life to lose my patience on somebody whose position much higher than me - The Executive Engineering.
Just because our Japanese GM is going back to JAPAN next month, and just because of this FAREWELL party they are planning, I have to suffer with them? Asking me to do the survey, asking those contract workers whether they are interested to go, without even knowing the price, just an estimation of $40, not knowing the place AND A SET DATE, he asked me to ask 40+ contract workers if they are interested. What's more do you expect than a 'NO'? Come on. 40 bucks. It's not a small amounts! And with all those rejection, you asked me to do the survey AGAIN with the changed of date this time. Then DO THE SURVEY AGAIN WITH THE CHANGE OF PRICE. MAKING ME WALKING IN AND OUT, ASKING 40+ CONTRACT WORKERS AGAIN AND AGAIN. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TIME I'D WASTED? WHEN I HAVEN'T EVEN TOUCHED THOSE PILES OF REPORTS? AND HOW VEXING IT IS? AND HOW THOSE CONTRACT WORKERS FEEL? WITH THOSE SAME QUESTION AND SAME ANSWERS AGAIN AND AGAIN!
ROFL? and then, I finally lose my patience when he emailed me to do the SURVEY again for the 4th times. I went straight to him and this is our conversation :

Clare: To be honest, those people said they don't want to go, means don't want to go. No matter how you change the date or price. They are not interested to go.

Asshole: But we change because we want more people to go.

Clare: Once you make any changes you ask me to do the survey again and again. To be honest, those workers find it very vexing and I think is a waste of time.

Asshole: Actually there are 2 more places added.

Clare: You mean, after I survey this date, I have to survey again to ask them about the places?

Asshole: Ya.

Clare: Why can't you just have a set date, a set place, a set price then ask me to do the survey? You know, it's really worthless to do the survey again and again and it's really a waste of my time. -pissed-

Asshole: oh..ok.

knn...

And you know, I find it very funny when I told my mum about what this Manager did to discourage me. She did some planning for me! Asked me to stop working before CNY or so and then what I should do blablabla. Then she ended with a sentence ''If it happens to be the 10th floor aunt's daughter working at your position, she will resigned after 1 day. How can you endure so long?''
Endure? I know I am once a person who will resigned straight away if I am not happy with the job..but this time..I didn't. Because I have lots of things to think about.

Knowing that my brother is in NS, without having a stable income, let alone my sis who's still studying...how can I resign this job as I like?
I was hoping that somebody in the family can help up the financial situation. You know...just $900 a month isn't enough to keep a family stable. I was looking forward for my sis to graduate, and my brother to finish his NS and get a stable jobs..but that day, when I didn't go to work, I chatted with my mum. Upon knowing that my mum wished my brother to further his studies since he is a GUY. and let my sis to continue her studies if she want, I was like...lol...and my mum said she will pay for the internet bills and electricity bills..I was like HUH? I thought bro should be the one paying? Then she said '' Your brother's bank...inside left few hundreds, how to pay?'' zzz then I told her ''nevermind..the house, all electricity bills, I pay. You just fork out some money for our daily merchandise.'' ...zz..lol...
I really wish to find a better jobs...you know..earning $900 a month, not forgetting there's somebody in there to discourage you everyday in your life..it's really a torture..$900 - away those electricity bills...lol just how much I have left for myself? Not much left..I really wish, I can give my mum a little money, just to lighten her stressed and she can buy anything she wants without holding back..but $900...lol..I can't..

My hope to continue my studies is fading away..seriously is....
Sometimes, I will feel it's so unfair....why am I the only one working for this family? lol...

I am such a useless person..aren't i? lol

C`b work..fking 4 eyes monster!

2009-11-17T20:42:00.004+08:00

Lol.. I am getting pretty tired with this job I am having. VERY TIRED.
The 4 eyes monster went on leave last friday and yesterday, it had been the most wonderful and peaceful day ever since the day I joined this company. I can almost see the rainbow across that empty seat of his.

It's normal for me to make mistakes in my work. Why? Cause nobody in this world is able to do a perfect and 100% mistakes free work. I tried to keep my mistakes to the minimum. Checked those stuffs and reports again and again. But can you put yourself in my shoes? Just how many reports I need to update a day? Not forgetting those operator always make mistakes in their report. It really interfere my limit of time and patience. Cause I must admit. I am not a patience person. With those same mistakes, again and again. I have to go out to the factory and ask them one by one, wait for their respond. For 5 mins, it can drag to few hours. And my report can never be finished on time. Then, it became my fault again. Why? lol.

I am in-charge of the weekdays report, and for saturday report, it's ah yap's work. Why am I the one to blame for the saturday report's mistakes? Just because I'd once made a lot of mistakes in my work, does that mean from then on, any mistakes work IT MUST BE made by me? lol? Then why am I working so hard for? With or without mistakes, I still got blamed, isn't it?

Really man. I am really pissed and fed up. What kind of fucking manager are you? Manager big fuck? Sometimes those mistakes were made by you, cause you input the wrong formulas. Accused me for the mistakes first then kept silence when I told you, it was actually you who made the mistakes. What the fuck is this?

Keep asking me to do the same things over and over again. Imagine a board with over 30 operator's faces. Just because a single word by Assistant GM, you asked me to change, fine, since it's an order from the GM. But, not telling me what you want, asking me to do whatever I think is the best, why are you commenting it after I AM DONE WITH EVERYTHING? Then i have to change it again. NEVERMIND. REPRINT 30+ PICTURES YEAH? I DO IT AGAIN. And now what? After all those rework and putting up the pictures, you are telling me to change it again. TMD. Just fucking hell tell me what you want, can? c`b zzz
You think I am god damned free? You know how many fucking useless reports I need to do? Not forgetting sometimes Engineering ask me to help them cause of this ''URGENT MATTERS'' OR because AH YAP taught me a new report made by YOU and I have to update it from then on. knn..

Pissed..seriously. Now I finally know what the others means by ''Nobody in your place stays for more than a year'' HELL MAN. I finally realised what they mean! knnbpcb.

Another saddened day

2009-11-05T19:28:00.004+08:00

I am seriously grateful..I have such a wonderful mum to always comfort me, encourage me when I am sad...
She's such a brave mother...seriously is.
She used to have dad's accompany but now, she faced all this problems in her life alone. I Love you Mum! Love you very much!!!! T__T
Yesterday, got suan-ed by manager again...if i did something wrong, you can tell me straight but don't purposely asked me if I am a cantonese and purposely said something in cantonese...it's really hurtful ya know?! I was disgraced by him in front of the other colleague, how would anybody feels about it?!
Reached home, tio looked down by sister, said what '' if you not brainless, your probation period don't need to extend le'' You know...got disgraced in front of the colleague already hurts me mentally...not a little but alot. Now my sister still said something like this...lol..I totally went berserk. Then my mum scolded me. rofl..such a ''nice day'' eh..
My mum keeps asking me to resign if I cannot take it..but I choose to face this in another way..treat this as a time to train my patience and IGNORance....
So i told my mum, I will carry on..until the day I cannot take it, I will resigned, she agreed.
So this morning, before I went to work, she gave me a pat on my back..you know, it's a simple movement, but it really touches my heart alot..alot..
I almost break into tears...then again..I think I shouldn't worried my mum with stuffs like this...it makes her more sad and worried...
So probably I should stop telling her and complaining about stuffs like this. Be brave siyin..you should and you can do it!

Heartless person?

2009-10-31T18:44:00.013+08:00

ok, == don't say I never update my blog. It's ridiculous though, the last time I updated my blog is like 4 days ago! =.=

Actually planned to watch some movies before I went to sleep last night. But I went to sleep after chatting with Carina cause I was dead tired.
First thing when I log in to my msn was a message by her. ''I am sad.'' lol. == When I haven't even open my video folder ~
So I asked her ''Why''
Then she starts to express her feelings, she felt disheartened about her life. That she should die or end her life. ==
Don't be stupid girl. I don't think your mum will even shed a tears if you die. So why waste your life on her in the first place.
Tried my best to comfort her..but ended up scolding her == cause she really makes me fed up. Why? Again, she don't listened.
You know, you are not hopeless == you just don't have the heart to study. You never concentrate in class. That's the problem. It's not that you are stupid or anything. lol...
Your mother predicted that you will go to ITE. Show her that she's damned wrong. If you have so much free time to cry and slash your wrist, use this damned time to study and show her that you can do it.
I find it weird though. It's the first time I saw a mother like this...as a mother, if you don't wanna encourage your daughter, let it be, don't discourage her. ==! What's so wrong about studying in ITE anyway? And if you said so lowly about ITE. Then does that mean Singapore Government did the wrong moves to build this Institution called ITE? Then what's all this ''ITE isn't It's The End'' words by the government? Becomes crap? rofl man.
When a person is rich, he/she takes pride more than anything? So it's a disgrace that a daughter can't study? Caning is all she can give to her daughter when she can't answer a question in that Secondary 2 paper when the truth is, she's just a Secondary 1 kid.
Funny isn't it? Is this your way of educating your childrens? You know, I don't have the right to judge you but seriously man, just one fine day, if your daughter committed suicide, will that day be the day you wake up from your hare-brained thinking? I highly doubt so.
Carina came to my house today. My mum had been comforting her. Didn't know what should I say, so made some crap jokes...and after few hours of silence, thank god carina is back to her normal self again. Crazy and happy like always. =]
Always remember though, if you need a place to go, our house door is always open for you. Just don't do anything silly again. Not worth it.

Then again, we came to this topic about some past stupidity.
The most regretful thing I'd done in my whole entire life is to play back Audition. I'd played this online game when I was in Sec 3..then I stopped for 5 years...I don't know why, I went to install this game after my dad passed away. ==
Then again.
I'd made some friends but also...how I wish I didn't start this game in the first place.
Being called a Bitch for the 2nd time in my life, being cursed for the first time in my whole entire life, that's probably the price to pay for making friends with you.
My friend always asked me to get a boyfriend, then everything will probably be fine. I don't wanna do that..lol just because to avoid you that I have to sacrifice my time for an unwanted boyfriend. But don't wanna do that doesn't mean I wouldn't do that. So don't force me to get a boyfriend. Then again, if you asked me, is it wrong to love me, my answer will be ''Yes''.
K, I heard somebody shouting ''HEARTLESS'' again. I don't wanna be a heartless person. But I didn't know my moves is a heartless moves. Anyway, till today then I realised something that makes me damned happy? LMAO.
You know what? The love you claimed and love that came out from your mouth. Are you serious about this word 'Love' ? Do you seriously know the meaning of love in the first place? To what I see from what happened today, you rely on me too much. And I give you too much of my care and concern so it mislead you to some kind of love illusion when all this feelings are just because, you rely on me too much. I am not the only one who thinks that ^^ friends at my same level feels that too. ah ah, probably I should stop your illusion, and sorry for making those illusion. Caring for you is something I hope I can do but more than that is something I don't wish to have =]

~~ complicated huh.
My job is doing fine now...got extended though..the probation period...ahhh whatever == like I care. As long as I have money for my bank then everything will be fine.

Log in to facebook and tagged few minutes ago..it's been how long since I log in to this cyber network. LOL..been eh...== months?
But you know..even though they say it's a place to make friends...I just find it weird...how can you make friends when you don't even know if that person really means it when he says ''I wanna be friend with you.''
The eyes are the windows to a person's heart. You can't even see that person's motive when he claims he wants to be friend with you..how safe can it be? How long can this friendship last?
Read those messages in tagged...and you know what? ^^ From those messages, I can only see Lust and Desire. Nothing more.
Just a Hi then ended with a question asking for my precious handphone numbers. How would I answer this kind of questions? - Wait long long man. ^^ Wait long long.

Stressed up...

2009-10-27T18:47:00.004+08:00

Family is the only one that can cure the pain you suffered by anyone, from anywhere.
And I really love my family alot.
Even though my dad is somewhere in heaven...I know I still have mum and siblings.
Today is the very first time I cried in front of my mum while I talked about my work. I remembered last time, it wasn't like this...
During my school holidays, when I went to work, I will came back home with lots of tales I heard in my work and the jokes made by those aunties...but this jobs I am having right now..is really different...it's really suffocating..I was totally stressed up.
When I heard about the possibility that I might get dismissed after 3 months of work, the very first thought that came to my mind is, what will happened if I don't have this job..what about the financial support I promised and what will Carina's mum said about this..high chances are being laughed at. I don't want the TENG's FAMILY to look down on us again.
Why will I get dismissed? It's pathetic though....I am not familiar with this kind of jobs...all about ink cartridge, printer ink..I am trying very hard to get used to all this...did all those reports with much efforts than before but still there are chances that there might be mistakes. To what i see, from what the operator had wrote in the report...there's nothing wrong..everything tally...but to those with experiences...they will say there's a mistake in it. Why didn't you find it out?...lol...how would I know there's a mistake when everything seems so fine to me in the first place...
Got blamed for the mistakes...when it's the operator who wrote it wrongly...funny isn't it?
I couldn't blame those operators too...they are not well-educated at all...''we are stupid, we are not well-educated, that's why we come to factory and work..now they ask us to use computer..how can we not make mistake with this sudden change?'' they'd complained to me...who should I blame then? lol...they recorded wrongly...without knowing what is wrong in the first place...I copied the report in..and then got blamed for those mistakes...got reprimand by manager for those mistakes...who should I blame? lol...blame myself? For choosing this kind of jobs..

After I told my mum about this, she said ''after 3 months don't work le..'' lol...how nice of her..I know she don't wanna see me suffered from this unknown stressed...if I suay suay got dismissed after 3 months..so be it..I can look for another jobs..but if I didn't..I hope to finish up the 1 year contract..at least by then..I will have enough money to at least hold for few weeks or months...

Thank you mum..sis and brother too...lol
Sis looked up 2 admin jobs for me after she heard my complained..
Brother got agitated after he heard my complained..

They are the most wonderful people on earth..
I don't know why...it becomes a habit now...when I am sad...my dad's shadow will crossed my mind then I will starts to feel that heartache again.

This few days, I'd been feeling blank...I really hate this feelings...
Few days before my dad passed away..I felt blank too...and this feeling came back now..I really..really..hate it..

Finally got my ITE CERT!

2009-10-19T16:56:00.003+08:00

And yeah, today went to collect my ITE cert. LMAO.
Reached Tampines at around...uh....11am+++
LOL then I was supposed to collect the cert with my mum and brother but they rather shop around those shops in TAMPINES than accompany me to that damned school -.-!
So I called that si ren Bryan =X
LOLOL! Told him I was in Tampines now and was surprised to find out that HE DON'T HAVE SCHOOL TODAY! Aiseh. HAHAHAH So asked him to come down and meet me la! Since he also nothing to do ma ^^ see how nice of me! LOL So I took the bus and we meet at the bus stop. Wee o wee oh, he changed alot leh! Wakao, seriously, why must you deny the fact that you are shuai. LOLOL!
So we walked to my school, got that damned cert and back to the bus stop. How nice of him eh, LOL accompany me until the bus came. And seriously, the weather is damned hot hao ma! -.- We are both sweating like hell LOL.
But seriously nahh, thank you si bryan ^^ for accompany and tagging that kind of tag in my blog LOLOL =X

Ohhh then back to interchange, meet up with my mum. We walked around..those malls in Tampines, I think it's call, the Tampines mall? LOL and had our lunchbreakfast.
Then to bouna vista to take my Mei 'N' Level cert, cause, basically, it's either my brother accidentally dumped that cert to the trash and my mum threw it away OR my sis lost it, anyway, we just couldn't find that cert after turning our house upside down. LOL
So, after we collected it, ^^v we went to jp and had a lil dessert then back home now. HAHAHA a day that's fully used. That's what my mum said =X

K until 4am.

2009-10-18T16:04:00.003+08:00

Went to Kbox last midnight...around 12am? LOL and sing until....4am? XD damned I think I am really drunk yesterday night cause I am getting crazy and dizzy and BAD TEMPERED. LOL Um...but I must thanks my sis for that? Cause she suggested to drink whisky with coke though I prefer sprite? ==!
And I swear I am not going to let Carina sleep beside me ever again! D:< She's like a pig when she wakes up. Yeah, she's skinny but that doesn't mean she's as light as a feather ==! Sleeping on top of me. Wow. LOLOL! -.- still make so much noise in the morning! D;< Grrrr woahhhhhhh all in all, I didn't get enough sleep ==! Thanks to her ~ Feel grateful neh, I make this post specially for you de. LOL!

Fuck You Bitches ^^

2009-10-17T23:23:00.006+08:00

I've never seen such a professional hypocrite in my life, thank you(?) for Showing me the true professional hypocrite.
How did you managed to laugh and smile in front of me when you are backstabbing behind my back? Wow man, Seriously.
I know what my siblings will said at a time like this. ''Don't care them la.'' But even you if said so, you still gets agitated when I tell you they badmouthed mum too. lol. We do mind about this matter, this matter that they badmouthed about our mum.
I don't really care what they say about me. But you know, I have this strong urge to give this 2 bitches a tight slap on their bitch face when I heard Carina said they badmouthed mum TOO.
Nbcb, I can tolerate and TRY to ignore what they said behind my back but I can't tolerate it when they badmouthed Mum. And yeah, knowing that this 2 bitches are so heartless to even shed a tears in my father's funeral, I don't need their crocodile's tears but please, be more mature can? Asking the other cousins ''Why are you crying?'' is this a normal question somebody will asked in a funeral?
lol.
Nevermind, let bygone be bygone. I know what you are doing behind my back and I know you are being boastful about this matter that your husband give money to my mum every month. Let me fucking tell you this. It won't be long. I am working now. We don't need your fucking money. You don't have to act like we owe you something just because your husband helped us when my dad passed away.
And yeah, I don't see why there's any wrong of me holding that one and only ITE cert. And let me tell you this EVEN with that ONLY ITE CERT I am holding, I am going to make a better life than your childrens. The very moment will come, and you will see, just who will live better in this society. Is it the person who hold an ITE cert and grow up through all those pain she'd experienced, OR a person who's being uncivilized even with that A level cert she is holding.

Showing off that boorish attitude towards those who are related to you. Let me tell you this eh. I know you don't give a shit about other's feelings. And you feels that money is more important than your life. Well, I may not be a pious Buddhist, but believe me, I am a true believer of karma. I shall pray that you will be STRESSED everyday, and in every passing moment of your life, till you eventually get your DESSSERTS! ^^ Nah, just kidding. I am not that evil, I should not let anger get the better of me, especially if it is over some as insignificant as you. Truthfully speaking, you are not even a speckle of dust resting on the very keyboard that i am typing on. Well, may your conscious eat away at you for the rest of your living days, IF you do have a conscious in the first place. =]

GV customer service..really..cmi ? LOL

2009-10-17T10:00:00.008+08:00

Yesterday took half day leave and planned to take the ITE cert with my mum. But she suggested to take that idiotic cert on Monday, so I ended up having lunch in jp with her and sis.
LOL. AND that crying baby -_-!
Shop for a while and reached home around 3pm? Took my afternoon nap ;3 it's been HOW LONG? Since I have my afternoon nap?! T___T and damned, even when I got this chance to take my nap, I'd nightmares ZZzzzz Keeps on dreaming about those digits, works, the manager, supervisor. I think I am really stressed. LOL
So, mum, sis, baby and I took our nap LOL and I am the last to wake up and I must really thanks my mum for that eh >;[ why!? Cause she made the baby cry ==! The crying really wakes me up.LOL!
So called Pristal cause we are meeting up today? LOL Planned this outing since monday? LOL == watch the movie Darah. I supposed to purchase the ticket and meet Pristal at JE around 5.45pm, but they don't let me purchase those tickets because they need all 3 ICs. ==?! What's all this trouble for? Not sure, so sms-ed pristal and brother, brother came to give his IC, then follow by Pristal. Pristal was very unhappy about it, so she went to negotiate with the Manager LOL
At first, I stood beside her and watched the ''show''..but the manager said this one and only sentence that made me really pissed. ''She can actually purchase the ticket first then collect the ticket after she got the ICs.'' Oh yeah, but, I didn't know about this matter until you said it, or because your crew only know how to say ''NO'' when they never see any ics? That's why I speak up ''I know your prevention is to prevent those under 18 to watch this show, but have you ever wonder that this prevention you made actually troubles the people whose older and eligible to watch this movie? Since we can purchase the ticket online without even showing our ic, all we have to do is ''tick'' that agreement box, so why can't they do it in the real life situation and be more flexible about it?'' and that manager diam diam. Pristal was too angry to talk until she walked away. LOL, I can understand her feelngs. Because we planned to meet at JE and go westmall de, but because of this matter she had to travel back to JP and then back to Westmall, which is really a waste of time.
I told Pristal I don't remember they have this kind of prevention last time, and after hearing from what the manager had said, I must really said, all this unnecessary prevention was made because there are some idiotic assholes who don't even know their ages, and started to purchase the rated movies blindly. Last time, they never check the ics when the customer bought the tickets and when the customer was about to go in and watched the movie, they were not allowed to go in cause they are not eligible to watch that rated movies. Then they starts to complain why they can buy the tickets but cannot watch the movies. Are they seriously brainless? == it's their fault for wasting their own damned money to purchase those tickets. What's all this complaining about? lol..lame sia.
And yeah, the manager said they need to check both sides. When they buy the tickets and before entering the halls. But yesterday, when we went in to watch the movies, they DIDN'T CHECK OUR ICs eh?! So what's this now? Pristal was in her burning rage LOL..

And seriously man, I am not very familiar with customer servicing but I know that you must first calm the person who complained, isn't it? But this GV manager didn't calm Pristal down, instead, he starts to say all those rules. Which is really...-.-? It's like making things worst cause I can see Pristal was jumping her feets. LOL...

And yeah, though all this happened, I'd already purchased the ticket so yeah -.- and guessed who I met when I was in JP. CHAN QI FENG! LOLOLOL!!! Alamak ._. he said I didn't changed at all, still the noisy one LMAO. Wth man -.-! He's with his friend..oh gosh -.- I forgot the guys name LOL. Ps. I don't remember names de eh ==! and damned, it's really fun to make fun of this qi feng sia. LOLOL still the same old pattern.

And yeah, went to Westmall and shop around and back to JP around 10+.
Watched Darah at around..11.45pm? The most disgusting movie ever, and this movie has a bad plot or rather No plot no nothing. It's all about killing. Like a group of people saved this lady and was brought to a house. Then ended up one by one got killed in a psychotic ways. My brother said it's like those religions stuffs, like the drinking of human's blood etc cause he recognised that devil logo in the movies but...if I was to choose, I think Saw is better than this == well, Probably, if you want to know how to kill a person in a psychotic ways, maybe you can watch this movie for reference? LOL. and I realised I'd been watching those gory movies this few days.
First is Blood ties, Final Destination, and this Darah. LOL. Also, follow up those movies I watched online, like the Saw, Resident Evil, 7 nurses etc etc.

Yesterday movie was a waste of money, somemore the movies end around 1am+ . But still, it's the funniest day ever caused I got to hang around with Pristal again. LOL
Been chatting and chatting and chatting. Our topics are like neverending XD

Time had passed and things had changed.

2009-10-10T21:10:00.003+08:00

Got a shocking news yesterday..from Lynn...
I hope she's doing fine now. -.-

Mum went to Malaysia yesterday morning and will be back tomorrow night? I managed to contact her just few minutes ago. Gosh..lol..asked if I can go find Lynn or at least visit her? And all I got was a''no'' Because my father's death haven't pass 3 years...so I cannot attend any wake in this 3 years. ==
..Was kinda sad to hear that news..even though we are not related at all...Why must people die anyway! == Hate this fact...seriously...

Went to JP this afternoon or rather morning? To have our breakfast but ended up having our lunch too. Cost me bomb man. lol! Sis D:< After you get your salary you better treat us T__T

To Lynn Sis: Take Care ya! If you need anything or any help, just sms me. Will be a message away.

Aunties are such a pain in the ass sometimes.

2009-10-06T19:40:00.004+08:00

''Aunties'' are such a pain in the ass sometimes..Especially when they starts to nag or being fussy over small lil things. And that's the time I will starts to wonder..will I become like them when I get old? I hope not >.>
Really hate it when those aunties starts to gossip whatever they'd saw, or anything they'd heard of. Probably it's the only entertainment they can think of..but..have they ever wonder, what if, others gossip about you? Will you like it?

Then was another day I'd lived..today is the most tiring day ever. I almost fell asleep in the office, without noticing, my eyelids gets heavier and heavier and then, it closed naturally.

Been looking and searching around CDs shop to look for the whole collection of Shin Chan, but to no avail.
If anybody happens to find it, WHOLE COLLECTION, and please, I don't want those translated audio by CHINA de...it ruined the whole videos.

Please sms me, or tag me at the tagboard. Deeply appreciated. =]
And please note, WHOLE COLLECTION means it include Shin Chan's sister and the last and final part , part 12.

Yoshito Usui R.I.P! T__T

2009-10-03T20:58:00.004+08:00

Serioussssssly...I don't know what's wrong with me....my temper has been real bad this few weeks ._. Probably because I am suffering PMS.
Neh neh de -_- and YEAH. Went to the barber shop today! IMA GONNA CUT BOTAK AND BECOME AND A NUN! TYVM FOR YOUR SUPPORT. ~ please treat this as a joke.

Was kinda sad about the news T__T THE AUTHOR WHO DREW SHIN CHAN PASSED AWAY!!! WOAHHHHHHHH T_______________T
WTH MAN! Most shocking news ever! Shin chan is my family and also my dad's favourite cartoon! Now it's like facing extinction!! D: still finding the whole collection of shin chan =\ but failed.
ZZZ

Went JP to have our lunch today~~ window shopping for a while too and yeah after that my siblings and I went to play basketball at the bball court that's located behind our house..
LOL MOSTTTTTTTTT FUNNIESTTTTTT DAY cause it's been how long since I played bball? 2 years? 5 years? LOL
But heng ah, my skills didn't deproved until very jialat =X Still can win sister and brother when we play ''bullet'' ^^v

LOL okok, don't say le =X later my sis say I HAOLIAN T__T
uh huh, tiring day ever, IMA GONNA SLEEP LE! Night ^^

Thank you friends. ;D

2009-09-29T21:31:00.001+08:00

rofl
Thank you Xiong. Seriously ^^

[ Xiong aka Kent ] says (9:15 PM):
anyway, if u still intend to help her, u got urself to blame n no one else liao. so dun complain or scold ppl. tat's life. tat's y i see all those gang here n there one i dun even bother. coz its so childish
they wan fight let them fight themselves. help is not really daring liao
` Yin ・c YA LA. SHE'S MY COUSIN. I HELP HER DIE LA K. NBCB says (9:15 PM):
help is not really daring liao?
[ Xiong aka Kent ] says (9:15 PM):
when need help
` Yin ・c YA LA. SHE'S MY COUSIN. I HELP HER DIE LA K. NBCB says (9:16 PM):
i don't get you
[ Xiong aka Kent ] says (9:18 PM):
make it simple, u help, u r idiot. u dun help, u r clever coz they chose to find problem themselves.
own problems settle urself. bring other ppl to help r useless
if its something u dun understand or duno n need help, tat will be different
` Yin ・c YA LA. SHE'S MY COUSIN. I HELP HER DIE LA K. NBCB says (9:19 PM):
if its something u dun understand or duno n need help
??
[ Xiong aka Kent ] says (9:20 PM):
like u got questions u duno u ask. tat one can help wad
but if its something causing trouble n u need help, those who help r idiots
` Yin ・c YA LA. SHE'S MY COUSIN. I HELP HER DIE LA K. NBCB says (9:21 PM):
D;<

LOLOL
Probably his words are harsh sometimes, but he wakes me up sometimes ~ and yeah, probably that's what Aries people are like. You help me by scolding and I help you by scolding too. LOL
Pristal is like this too. LOL I guess that's what it means by ''You don't need many friends, all you need is a True friends and that's all you need in life.''

my responsibility?

2009-09-27T19:38:00.004+08:00

Ok. I admit, probably it was ME who caused the spam in my cousin's blog. Just because of that one and only tagged I'd made. And this idiot Randy spammed her blog like fk causing those anonymous to do the same spamming. But yeah, let alone all this. Is it my responsibility to babysit my cousin? Then if that's the case, does that mean I have to babysit EACH AND EVERY cousins I'd? I'd my own life too. You should be responsible for your own life. And if you got yourself into trouble, maybe once or twice, yeah, I can asked my friends to help up but are you taking it for granted? It's really vexing, seriously is, when I heard you say ''i tio taiji le''. Giving you those fking solutions but you keeps on saying 'No' to those solutions then what do you expect me to do?

And also, to friends who know my cousin and I. Yeah she's close to me and I did my very best to help her. ''She's your cousin, you should help her'' But has anyone think for me before? I am tired too but just because I am her fking cousin that I have to be responsible and take good care of her. Not that I am heartless, I'd helped her more than once and yeah, DO YOU THINK I AM THOSE FKING GOD? OR AM I HER DOG? Everytime she tio taiji I have to clean her ass for her? Wow. Why don't I give you her fking house number? You make a call to her house, tell her fking siblings and c`b parents about it?!
I'd told my mum about those matter and she asked me not to care too much. She have her own parent and siblings. If i care too much, and she got into some troubles, nobody will ever thank me but instead, they will blame me. ROFL? I never ask and don't need their ''thank you'' but it's really pissed to get blamed when all you did is to help your cousin yeah? But anybody know about it? No. All they know is ''help her, help her''
YA LA, I AM HER FKING COUSIN, I HELP HER DIE LA K. NBCB.

Pissed. totally.
And today went to Malaysia and played L4D with my cousins and brother. It's the most funniest thing ever. This 2 cousins kept shooting at my brother and I instead of the zombies -.- So when they were hurt and need some help, my brother and I hiew lan them cause it's pissed to see the our life decreased because of their shootings and not from those zombies. Fk funny can. LOL

Perfect lies...I feel like a total idiot.

2009-09-23T21:24:00.006+08:00

First, I was asked to lead 4 new contract workers , age 40+. LOL
Then, another new contract worker today, age 40+ too D:
Probably adult has this mindset that they are older so...they don't really listen to me when I talked to them -.- which is really...difficult for me cause I am telling them what they should and should not do D:< Today, another weekly meeting and I am the Chairman for today's meeting! To be honest...every weekly meeting..I catch no balls what is it all about! LOLOL and now you ask me to be the CHAIRMAN for this meeting ! -.-? WTH please, somemore have to present in front of the manager! LOLOL scared die me x.x First experience was funny. I have no clue what to do at all. Used my eyes to communicate with my colleague and they tried their best to use their eyes to communicate with me too. LOL Imagine I sat beside the Manager while I blink and frown. -.- I feel like a clown. LOL Then was another boring and funny day.~

Carina ah Carina. Dare to say me, you yourself leh? Like Bryan still don't dare to say. Tsk.
Bryan ah Bryan, marry Carina la. She got you, don't want me le leh T_T

and yeah..thank you Zc...for telling me...everything makes sense now...lol...yeah...beautiful joke..perfect lies...and I am like a total clown...you must be laughing your ass off? For I am making a fool of myself in front of you...
I shouldn't have find it out from others like you'd said..fuck funny...lol

Funniest day ever ^^

2009-09-21T20:27:00.002+08:00

Went cycling today, at east coast park AGAIN LOL
It's a bad weather to cycle -_-! At first the weather was fine. I took the lead, leading a group of cousins (age group : 10~19) cycle towards the end of East. They keeps on ranting ''don't go so far'' LOL caused I lied to them and said ''I scared I will get lost leh.'' Then bth their ranting, I assured them, I won't sell them away to any associations or lost in this haunted forest. LOL
It's drizzling, so I thought it should be fine to continue riding forward, but it starts to rain when we U turn. LOL we ride as fast as we could to the bike shop but the rain stops! -.- wth? So I suggested we ride to the west now! LOL they say ''OK!'' enthusiastically so I asked my sis to take the lead this time while i guard behind. Some younger cousins ride slower than the older ones. ==! Then halfway towards the west, the rain starts to pour heavily! LOLOL I asked my sis to find a shelter but she brought us to a dead end with no shelter ==!? LMAO. We stand under this big tree to prevent us from getting drenched but we are already drenched -.- LOL And yeah, finally, after few minutes of waiting the rain gets smaller -.-!? So we ride back to the bike shop but it starts to rain heavily again while we ride towards the shop. Nia eh ! Joke of the day man. LOL all of us becomes drenched chicken. Thanks to this unpredictable rain.
Funniest day ever ^^ and I really love this day. =]

Heard those stories, marriage failure, family abused, single parent family..blablabla...those enthu I once had towards marriage has gradually becomes dull. lol

Simple Life..Cherish it.

2009-09-21T01:23:00.005+08:00

It's like 1.31am and I still couldn't get to sleep -_- so yeah, here I am.
Yesterday went to visit my aunt at East Coast Park. Her house located at the opposite side from the beach. Didn't went to the beach cause of weather, shine and pour as it likes -.- unpredictable, that's what most male species use to describe - Women's mood.
Saw my grandma over there. She's currently living at Aunt doris's house. The conversations between aunt and grandma were funny but it's sad to see her getting harewired sometimes. Watched those videos taken by aunt was funny yet saddening. Shadows of my dad in those videos made my nose goes sour -.- gosh ! I am just like a crybaby when I think about my dad.

You know, it took me almost a year to realise that, I didn't cry much when my dad passed away. Thanks to those relatives, they stopped me from crying, asked me to be strong cause my dad is no longer around; I should take care of my mum; wipe away those tears because if i cried, my dad cannot Rest In Peace; ...after cremation...I still remembered that day was the first mooncake festival without my dad..i cried with my sis and got laughed by my uncle. lol...I don't know....is it normal for them to laugh? Or is it abnormal for me to cry? Till then I wiped away my tears and told myself. Even if I wanna cry, I will not let anybody sees it but i regretted. I should cry out loud and hard instead of hiding at one corner, trying real hard not to make any sobbing noise. -.- i felt terrible now...really. If I cry out loud...I don't think I will suffer now.

And then today, my mum's sisters came to Singapore. Had Macdonald breakfast together and yeah..nothing much, caused I stayed at home and play audi with my cpl. LOL.
Tried to find some interesting online games but..couldn't find any. So forget it. Stick to audi for now but..yeah, leading a simple life in audi now~ no fam no nothing, only this cpl ign anion to play with me for the whole day~ LMAO.
KMA is now nomb - None Of My Business. and yeah I am very disappointed with KMA. Sis. You should know what I mean. Unless everything is back to normal again, if not, I am not going back to KMA ^^

And yeah, went to JP just now, had a good talked with some cousins. Carina. Remember this, no matter what happened to you now or in life. Treat this as your stepping stones. An obstacles to test your limit of patience. If you can stand up again, you can succeed in life.
People always love to judge it's book by it's cover.
And Carina, not everyone has a good impression on you is because you are too straightforward sometimes. Learn to think before you talk, no matter what, I believes not everyone is perfect, everyone has their own weakenesses but I will always remember how kind and soft-hearted you are inside =] Don't let other's judgement pulls you down in life cause I believe, the real you is yet to be seen. Just be good and don't uses vulgar all the times, I believe, everybody will loves you =]

Will never be the princess in Fairytale

2009-09-18T20:23:00.006+08:00

WOOHOO, HELLO XD I am back to blog again o.o
I am soooo happy that I have 3 days to rest at home thanks to the holiday this Sunday ;o

For some reason, I am sad x.x
Knowing that today is the last day of hungry ghost festival, I was like T_T . Ok, I sound like a sicko =X but seriously...I have those thinking like, my dad will not be by my side anymore? Is he? x.x

Um.. and I received a mail from my colleague o.o. A story about this blind lil boy :[
and yeah from there I realised something and that is to invite others towards good with wisdom. Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets.
When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile =)
Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.

Went to search in the internet and found this sentence.
Quote : 'Life has to be an incessant process of repair and reconstruction, of discarding evil and developing goodness.... In the journey of life, if you want to travel without fear, you must have the ticket of a good conscience.'

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling... And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!!! LMAO. So yeah o.o I don't mind being a clown sometimes, as long as I can make my mother smile again :D

OK.
I have something to say over here. Not generalising but seriously, those idiot guys that's sitting beside me in the office are an ass. I am busy with the reports that manager had been nagging about, and works that's flooding like hell on my shelves, I don't even have time to touch the other stuffs. And yeah, can somebody tell me, if you want that stationery urgently, knowing that you, yourself are free, would you rather wait for someone to take for you or will you take it yourself?
The answer is clear, but sadly this 2 idiots, who's god damned free, ask me to take stuffs for them and that store is a few distances away from my office. Hell damit.
I was pissed of course. I will never and don't think will ever be those cinderella or snow white in the fairytale and let others take advantages.
So when he asked me ''eh store inside got scissors and correction tape anot? Help me take can?''
''How would i know? I am not in charge of the store, ask stella instead.'' and then continue with my work ignoring him. -.- fk him. LOL I know I am new in this job and yeah should be a good girl and do what others asked you to. But sorry. I am busy. Just in case you are blind, I hope you are not deaf.
Had been ignoring that old lady this whole week or so and yeah she's nice to me again? wow. LOL
I will never give up and I will hang on even if I meet obstacles in my job because I know what a real crisis feels like, and this kind of obstacles doesn't even compare.

Probably because that's my character..I don't think I will ever be those princesses in the Fairytale.

~EDITED~
I just read an email from my ITE friends! LOL it's so damned funny xD
:-Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with it, Just pee on it and walk away.
Cool quote isn't it? LOL

Leave it.

2009-09-16T18:42:00.009+08:00

4. Because I starts to dislike this.
1. Don't know what should I do
3. Leave everything behind
2. Probably I should stop

Sometimes I ask myself this question - ''what kind of person am I? ''
Some people said - To know yourself is easy. Look at those people around you. Ask. That's how you will know.

Flip through the graduation gift by my sec sch art teacher. Those pages filled with colourful words and pictures by my classmates, yeah, I can see words like ''Cheerful'' ''Noisy'' ''Happy-go-Lucky'' in those sentences.

Asked my best buddy Xiong on the 14th of September 2009.

` Yin Forget it. I'd Moved On. says (10:09 PM):
what kind of person am i?

[ Xiong aka Kent ] Trying is having the intention to fail. Scrap that word and say "YOU WILL!" said (10:09 PM):
eh
last time is happi go lucky
now im not sure if u changed?
o.o

` Yin Forget it. I'd Moved On. says(10:10 PM):
LOL

Seriously. Talking to him is a gift. He brings up my mood, reminding me those days that I'd been laughing like some idiots with those lamest jokes ever. He reminds me how to laugh and what kind of person I am last time. Thank you ^^ once again LOL

I gradually forgot how to laugh after my dad passed away. Because of those chinese tradition..those words like ''Your father passed away , you still can laugh? How unfilial are you!''
Lol...yeah sometimes I will speak up but as time passes by..I feel tired and that's it. Since when..I just know that I'd stopped laughing till then.. lol

Dad's 1 year commemoration

2009-09-15T12:46:00.004+08:00

Woke up around 7am+. Look around the bedroom and glance at the clock that's hanging in front of me.. ahhh no work today xD
Don't really know which word suits my feelings now. Sad? Ache? Blank?
..lol I just know that I couldn't think much today.
Feel kinda disappointed that nobody from my father's side came...not even a joss stick are burn by them.

I wish time can be rewind, I wish doremon really exist, I wish I wish I wish sooo many stuffs but now I realised, duhz -.- that's just building castle in the air. lol.

What is mine, will eventually be mine.

2009-09-14T20:23:00.005+08:00

and YES! I will be on leave tomorrow! Thanks to my dad, for his one year commemoration. Not a thing to be happy about..just trying to cheer myself up this way. lol

This morning, I saw a newborn butterfly !!! Thanks to this unknown butterfly, she breed her eggs on my pot of plant, 8 caterpillars found eating the leaves ! My plant becomes botak le >;[ and yeah, saw this yellow butterfly, break free from the shell of pupa! HAHAHA

Went to search in the internet and got this interesting philosophy about butterfly ;o

Some people say that when a butterfly lands on you it means good luck. However, in Devonshire, people would traditionally rush around to kill the first butterfly of the year that they see, or else face a year of bad luck. Also, in the Philippines, a lingering black butterfly or moth in the house is taken to mean that someone in the family has died or will soon die.

Interesting isn't it? XD
and yeah o.o I need some help over here. Seriously -.-

A guy who can't even understand what a girl means by ''Not interested'' is really a failure :]
Stop it. I find it very vexing -_- for goodness sake. Are you trying to act dumb or trying to be a man that's full of love? Either way, I AM NOT INTERESTED! Just Scram Off!

BattleField. Armour

2009-09-12T21:40:00.003+08:00

Had a nice chat with one of my sistas, Pristal.
To be honest, knowing how this society works, there's only 1 word in my mind that very moment - Practical, but it's what I'd expected long long time ago, those days when my dad and mum quarrelled over money and financial stuffs.
Working is like a battlefield for me. You have to learn to protect yourself even if you don't wanna kill. Quote one sentence from my colleague, this society is a ''dog eat dog'' society.
Meaning: dog eat dog
if a situation is dog eat dog, people will do anything to be successful, even if what they do harms other people.

Rofl..putting on an armour? I may sound like I am exaggerating but that's what I am experiencing now.
Every night, when I come back from work. I tried not to tell my mum those things I'd experienced because I remembered there's once I told my mum about this old lady, she got agitated. There's only one word to describe my feelings that day - Touched.
I cannot fight back because I still have a long way to go before the contract ends. I cannot fight back because I have to earn money to support this family that fills with loopholes. I cannot fight back because I need this job.
Tolerating? I finally realised why should I tolerate this bitch?
Don't have to give a heck is the best way.

Brought my mum, siblings and Pristal for a treat at Orchard Road Sakura. The food over there tasted really gross, probably I am too fussy, but I know I am trying real hard to swallow those disgusting foods. Then we head over to Jp to catch a movie at around 11pm last night. ''Blood Ties'', if anybody heard of it, it's actually a chinese ghost movie. I thought the story plot was alright but the actress and actors in that movie ruined it all. My mum had been grumbling that she wasted her money on this movie. LOL.

And yeah, I am getting tired. Not physically, but mentally.
I wondered sometimes and I'd told my cpl honestly just now that his cpl, Me, doesn't have a good name in this game called Audition.

lol..forget it -_- not gonna talk much about gaming. It's just a place where I find my entertainment.
I finally realised the reason few minutes ago. Thanks to my friend, Derrick.

` Derrick says (10:13 PM):
Because those games like Lunaonline chiong level de ma, you always chiong level, never talk to other players. Audition needs to communicate + you are anti social with people you don't know. People don't really know you, only look at how you behave in game, of course nobody will understand what kind of person are you.

` Yin ツ Forget it. I'd Moved On. says (10:16 PM):
lol..nice paragraph -.-
I don't need others to understand me, they don't have to either. -.- gaming friends are just Hi, Bye, Go. Same goes to those gaming cpl.

` Derrick says (10:18 PM):
LOL. Don't you want somebody to be there for you when you are down? Even if it's just online friends?

` Yin ツ Forget it. I'd Moved On. says (10:20 PM):
lol...speechless -.-

Cheer up..move on

2009-09-09T18:49:00.006+08:00

Argh!!!! Pfft. Cheer up SIYIN! You work to help up the family...why must you care what that idiot and childish old lady said and did to you? Must be strong ya. Like your dad. Don't have to care what others said. Why must you care anyway. You have to remember why you work. Don't give up easily because of what happened or what others did to you. Jiayou...you can do it...

Don't mind don't mind...though I keeps on hallunicating myself ''I don't have to care'' but I still couldn't hold back my feelings. Cried alone in the bus when I think of my dad and those words he said to me. ''Don't have to care them.'' And yeah..till then I realised..my dad is no longer in this world...to remind me stuffs like this. lol...

Pissed with stuffs at work...no longer have the time and energy to care those words like ''those nightmare I'd''. -_-

Pathetic

2009-09-08T18:55:00.000+08:00

Tolerate....Tolerating....
That's what I am doing now.

Joke for the Day?

2009-09-04T23:10:00.001+08:00

I don't know if I should laugh at this joke I'd made or how stupid this supervisor was.
She don't even know I worked OT yesterday.
Those people who sat around me had been asking me, ''working OT ah?'' I don't know if she's deaf? or She really didn't hear it. But there's one thing I am sure about - She's blind. I was working like hell over there with my computer on when others had already off their com. Didn't she saw it?
ROFL. And yeah. I have nothing left to say. I should probably learn to speak up rather than working like some shit over there.

Had been the most funniest day ever thanks to the joke I'd / she'd made.
Called my mum and told her this, she's laughing her ass off. ROFLMAO. Thanks me? For making my mum smile once again :]

Terrible...

2009-09-03T20:16:00.005+08:00

First, I overslept.
Then, I'd my very first experience to work OT in the office alone
Lastly, I realised how gossip those aunties can be and to be honest, this 3 experiences are something I wish I didn't experienced it at all.
Terrible...probably I should learn how this society work..and be brave when I am Ot-ing in the office alone...with lights off except that dim light on top of me. I should learn to sleep early than sleeping late..
I am trying to learn and trying to change..I hope I can.

Fuck you bitches ^^

2009-08-31T20:45:00.007+08:00

You claimed yourself as my friend when all you do is banging your bedroom door or give attitude when my mum visit your mum. Wow? Don't like my mum to hang around with your mum? Let me tell you this ^^ I know you are reading my blog yea, read each and every single words carefully. I, Zhou SiYin Clare, don't remember having a friend like you ^^ and yeah, when you said you don't like your mum to hang around with my mum, have you ever ask yourself this question - ''Do you think I like my mum to hang around with your mum?'' Oh yeah, sorry, probably you are too stupid and self-centered to think this question ^^ but let me kindly remind you, I DON'T LIKE MY MUM TO HANG AROUND WITH YOUR MUM EITHER.
But yeah, though I hate it, I still greets your mum everytime she visit. Probably, you, should grow up and remember this. No matter how much you hated it, please know your manner or probably LEARN SOME MANNERS.
Also, remember this. Don't ever tell others I am your friend, its the most disgraceful things ever :]

Probably I should note something over here, to those bitches who loves to hop around those blogs.
Lynn
Kris
Carina

Are my sistas. :] I am a peace maker doesn't mean I don't have temper. You can try to bully them but don't blame me if somethings happened. :] Try me and I will let you taste the wrath.

Think before you speak.

2009-08-30T20:40:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I really wondered; why do they speak without thinking? Probably because they lack of that very important organ- the brain, that's why they can't think? - that's the only reason I can think of.
Words do hurt sometimes. Without you knowing it, your words can influence somebody's life. Sometimes they said comments were made for improvement...yeah, quite true but sadly, those words these people said out weren't a pure comment. It's a sarcastic remark that contains spike, piercing it right into people's heart. 'We' are hurt, but, they can still laugh at it and think it's a joke. Funny? I don't think so. Think you are so superb? I don't think so. It just show how childish and arrogant you are.

Probably, you should learn some manners and that is to think before you speak. Know the meanings of your words before saying it out , if not, you are just making a fool of yourself :]
Said those sarcastic remarks to your semi blood-related cousins. Those kids who are still in their elementary years. Seriously, you think by doing this makes you a 'Somebody'? I just feel that you are making yourself into a 'Nobody' :]

Children loves to joke and play around , it's perfectly normal, as a grown up teenager, laugh with it and everything will be over, why take it so seriously and hurt them with those words? Don't have to. Seriously, don't have to do this.

If people can think before they talk, I don't see why we can't have peace and harmony :] whether in this family or in this country. Don't you think so?

Why did you come back..

2009-08-25T16:54:00.004+08:00

It had been years since I log back in to Gaia. The 3rd new community I'd joined in year 2007. Was addicted to this forum site last time and really loves to debate in ''General Discussion'' column. Knew a guy in there...a guy whom I can't forget...even now.

It's hard to imagine but we'd been together and our relationship lasted for only 1 week, that is what most people said ''online relationship''. Reason because he's a US guy. ROFL. Probably because I am stupid last time, I threw myself into this kind troubles and after that last quarreled, I'd deleted him from my Gaia and msn - I don't know how many umpteen times I'd added and deleted him but the last time I deleted him from my msn, we lost contact.

He's a nice guy...he was there giving me the full support, always there to listen to my sorrow but there's one thing bad about him. He's horny. I don't like horny guys..and I really don't know how and why I'd like him in the first place.
Most people called him Jerk and Bastard in debating forum because he is kinda arrogance, but towards me, he is a totally different person.

Log back in to Gaia few minutes ago, I saw a friend request...he added me as friend in July..I thought he said ''Don't talk to me if you are not willing to give me what I want'' that's what I do, I didn't talk to him anymore..but why is he adding me back in Gaia again..?
Dilema..huh...

Anyway, let's not think about it..lol I'd moved on..and there's no way..I am going to turn myself in for that.
Didn't went to work today..had a terrible headache this morning..don't know why but my head had been aching since yesterday night.
Had my breakfast in Mac with my mum and sis, then went up to Giant to buy some groceries. Headed to the clinic and waited for whole 20 minutes before it's my turn. LOL but yeah, got a mc for today.
Tomorrow gonna work hard again ^^

Good people die early...

2009-08-23T21:36:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I really wondered...is it really alright for us to visit grandma weekly. Everytime when grandma see us, she will starts to sob. We tried our best to do what our dad was doing and that is to talk to our grandma. When we were young, we detest going to those family gathering and so my dad will do the job by visiting grandma during weekdays and chat with her, give her a warm hug etc. We didn't know all this after our dad passed away. Our uncle told us that's what our dad do sometimes.

Today went to my uncle's house (father's side), went to find grandma the moment we reached. She's laying on her bed, staring into spaces.

At first, when my siblings and I talked to her, she was alright but few minutes later, she gets emotional and started sobbing. She said she miss our dad. We tried our best to comfort her and asked her not to think too much..but ended up all cried with her. lol..

She suffers Alzheimer. Keeps asking the same question every few minutes but that moment I feel sad and heartache. She's such a nice grandma before she suffer this. Now she scold anybody for whatever reasons you can think of , but strangely, she didn't scold my siblings and I when we talked to her.

I can see how much our grandma love our dad..and how filial my dad is...but knowing all this only makes my nose goes sour. Is this what they say ''Good people die early'' ? Such a good son, a good husband, a good father...how can this kind of nice man died so early? Is the god really doing their jobs? Seriously....I doubt so.

My grandma was sent to the hospital now cause her blood pressure was kinda high..I hope she's alright...and I really hope..she will be fine.

Dad, if you are there, remember to take care of Grandma and mum ok? They miss you alot...I am sure you should know.

MOTHERFUCKERS SHOP OWNER

2009-08-22T21:38:00.006+08:00

Some people are just motherfuckers. They probably lack that very organ in their filthy body, and that's the brain.
Today went out with my mum, went to Tiong Bahru to find my mum's aunt and also to get back my wallet from my sis, Lynn.
Mum's aunt brought us to Tiong Bahru's wet market and that place really gives me a very ''GOOD'' impression.
I don't have much office wear so my mum asked me to buy some of it since it's a shop in wet market, the price shouldn't be that expensive.

Seriously, looking at those clothes or rather CLOTH, I was not a least bit interested at it. But, my mum asked me to try on, and LOOK CAREFULLY, that piece of shirt, I saw it in JP This Fashion, exactly the same design, it's only $18, and that fucking shop sell it at $25 not forgetting it's just a normal broken shop in the wet market! Motherfuckers, nono, I should say MoneySuckers. I try that piece of clothes for my mum's sake, putting on with an unwilling face. Then, after looking at it, I said ''NO'' I don't wanna buy it and not a least bit interested. That shop owner then started to scold quietly thinking that I wouldn't heard it. Seriously, if it's not because I HAVE to put on a good image in front of my mum's aunt, I would have scolded back vulgarly. nbcb.

That shop owner don't know how to please the customer with WORDS, nevermind, but he scolded when the customer don't wanna buy. WTF is this. If you don't wanna let customer try on those clothes, PLEASE KINDLY FUCK OFF and close down that fucking shop. Why are you selling clothes when you are so fucking unwilling to let customer try on it? If that customer don't find it nice on them, don't you think customer have the fucking right not to buy it? Then you scold simi lj? knnbpcb. OK, nehmind, walked around and went to another shop. A black normal office skirt cost $30?! Motherfuckers, all scam money eh. PCB, just a normal black skirt cost $30? Long pia la.nbcb, scam money nehmind, another hare-brained shop owner who don't know how to TALK eh. ''You never wear skirt one meh?'' giving that fucking looks. I am not interested to buy your skirt is because of the price, not because I never wear skirt before. pcb.
I feel in doubt that very moment. Why the place I lived in (Jurong West), those people in that wet market are so friendly and nice, whereas those people that's living in that mofo tiong bahru wet market are so uneducated and idiotic?
If you don't know how to do a business, if you don't know how to please the customer, if you don't know how to talk, if you don't know what it means by ''customer is always right'' , please, close down that fucking shop before you gets bankrupt alright. ^^

Went to watch ''Where got ghost'' again -.-! 3RD TIMES! LOL I was like..err....I can even recite how and what will happened at which scenes. ==
No choice, my mum's aunt haven't watched it yet. For her sake, we went to watch it again. ROFL.
And yeah, this morning had my breakfast or rather lunch with my mum at tiong in that Thai Express..the food..seriously ==! LOL but yeah, overall..it's a..rather funny and pissed off day and I think I met something dirty yesterday. I don't know why, EVERYTIME, during this festival, I will see something that my family didn't and couldn't see. Like yesterday, I was tripped by an old man in front of me but my brother whose standing behind of me said I tripped myself and he didn't see any old man in front of me. When I told my mum I really saw an old man in front she said ''You always saw those things during this festival, last time also like this.'' then I realised, eh...yeah..LOL

Song dedicated to my Dad.

2009-08-22T09:54:00.000+08:00

And yeah, I think somehow, somebody heard my wishes...because yesterday I'd been working like some crazy mofo. From morning 9am, workload had been coming in continously AND I finished all my workloads around 5pm ==! Few minutes of breathing and panting my boss asked me to find the factory leader to clarify something -.-! Walked around to find that leader and yeah, standing beside him for whole 10 minutes before he entertain my question. Tsk.

After work, I took the company's bus home, got a call from Pristal, asking me to join her for dinner at JP, but, my mum cooked my dinner le ;o So i asked her to join me instead. LOL and yeah, she came my house and had dinner together. Really love the time chatting with her cause she always understand what I am thinking, I don't have to say much, she will know what I mean. So yeah, after few hours of chatting we planned to watch ''WHERE GOT GHOST'' yesterday instead of today. Dragged my mum out of her nest! LOL and yeah, brother drove Pristal, me and grandma to JP to buy tickets first cause the baby my mum babysitting haven't go home yet -.-

Busy and funny day ever. LOL
And then this morning, few minutes ago, I suddenly came out with an idea. Write a song to my dearest dad. LOL
Music copied from Ella's song, 蔷蔷. Lyrics edited abit ;o
The whole meaning is different ok! That song is for dog, but ima gonna make that song specially dedicated to my dad.

-
还记得你喜欢哈哈笑的过
在我所有的朋友眼里
你就像个如来佛

你给我们一个很温暖的家
窝在你的身旁
没有烦忧
在梦里遨游
好爸爸好爸爸
谢谢你陪妈咪这么久
你并没有离开我
是搬到天堂生活
爸爸你要记得我
你不要走丢
快快找到阿公
在天堂给我们保佑
爸爸不要忘了我
还有亲爱的妈妈我们和你的朋友
你永远活在记忆中

还记得你期望我们好好过
要我们几个和睦相处
你和妈没烦没优
你喜欢我摸摸你的大肚子
窝在你的身旁
没有烦忧
在梦里遨游
好爸爸好爸爸
谢谢你陪妈咪这么久
你并没有离开我
是搬到天堂生活
爸爸你要记得我
你不要走丢
快快找到阿公
在天堂给我们保佑
爸爸不要忘了我
还有亲爱的妈妈我们和你的朋友
你永远活在记忆中
爸爸~谢谢你
爸爸你要记得我
你不要走丢
快快找到阿公
在天堂给我们保佑
爸爸不要忘了我
还有亲爱的妈妈我们和你的朋友
你永远活在记忆中！

Dad, welcome home!

2009-08-20T18:49:00.003+08:00

I have soooo many things to post for today! Argh! Let's hope I didn't missed out anything that's in my mind now! HAHAHA

and yeah, frankly speaking, if it's not because of Calvin's sms, I probably wouldn't know that today is the 7th month of hungry ghost festival.
Really thanks to Calvin tay for his sms BUT not the chain message. ROFL. Those idiotic message like if you don't forward to how many people, something will happen to you blablabla. And yeah, he sent me that message around 10pm and asked me to forward that message before 12am. But can somebody tell me, how do I forward that message when I slept at 9pm last night? -.-

Last time during this festival, I will feel scared for some particular reasons. Sometimes, I will be able to see those stuffs, and, I can sense that they are there. However, this time, I really looks forward to this festival because this 1 month will and only probably be the time I can have the feelings that my dad is back again.
I dreamt about my dad last night. It's funny though, I dreamt he ate 3 pieces of cake :O haha, funny dreams, but it's probably a sign that my dad is back again. It's been how long since I dreamt about my dad? rofl...

I starts to enjoy working though it's kinda boring sometimes. LOL but still, sometimes I will have those thoughts like ''I should stay at home instead''. My mum is sick this few days. She has been coughing for whole day (it's not H1N1) and I will starts to have those thoughts like, I should stay at home, help my mum babysit that baby then she will be able to eat the medicine and have a good rest. *sigh* but you see...I can't...because I have to work in order to stop those TENG'S FAMILY from nagging.

I wondered sometimes...why do people say ''SORRY'' after I answered them ''My dad passed away''. I mean...it's alright...they don't know anything in the first place anyway. Those people who really needs to say sorry are those who know my dad passed away but still asked or purposely said ''how do you spend your father's day with your dad?'' this kind of person..are really motherfuckers...lol THEN I will answered them ''Heaven is a nice place.'' ANDANDAND! They will give me that awkward looks. You know, it's alright for me to speak vulgarly in the public, I DON'T MIND being the center of attention if you are trying so hard to make a fool of yourself =]

And yeah, everything went smoothly today, hope tomorrow will be a better and busy day for me!

I am not gonna fall again

2009-08-19T19:20:00.004+08:00

and~ YES! I am back again. ROFL.
I get tired easily this few days! Probably because I am getting OLD! LOL
After thinking for 1 whole night, I'd came out with my own ways to work out my life.
I'd been a really dumb girl last time. A girl who confessed if she like that person. But now I realised. ''Nono, Siyin. That's it. 1 lesson is enough for you to learn what's right and what's wrong.'' I will not jump into those love trap ever again cause it's suffocating and it hurts. If I know there's no way for that person to love me back, I am not going to jump in and makes myself hurts from falling - I am not gonna confess. Keeping it silent and deep in my heart is enough.

And yeah, today had been a funny day for me. Was busy again with those office works, cutting and printing. Was asked to re-do the white board(cause there will be a VIP coming tomorrow) that has a man-power chart on it. Printed those photograph and labels. Clean the white board with those alcohol because it's kinda dirty and oily (which I don't know how that white board gets oily)
I tried really hard to wipe away the stain and marks on that white board but I couldn't, when I showed it to my boss and told him ''I am done'', he used his fingers to wipe those stain and it's removed. I was like ''WTH?!'' and was trying really hard to hold back my laughter, then he suddenly said ''you want me to teach you how to clean the whiteboard?'' I busted out. LOLOL then he walked in and said ''clean it tomorrow morning'' PHEW. Luckily he didn't asked me to work overtime and clean that stupid whiteboard! LOLOL
And yeah, the moment I alight from the company's bus, I was smiling my way home because I know that my mum will be there, at my house lobby waiting for me, with the babygirl she's baby sitting and my idiotic sis over there. LOL ;x

I love you guys sooooo much ^^ <333 HAHAHA

Web Cam with my sis.

2009-08-18T19:09:00.005+08:00

Rofl. Going to watch ''Where got ghost'' this saturday with my family. Watched it before but it will be great to watch it again with my family ^^.

Today had been a busy day for me. I thought I need to work overtime but thank god I finished those works before the bell rings. LOL

And yeah, I am back home msn-ing and chatting with my sister, Kris. Guessed what, this idiotic girl wanna have a webcam session with me, so yeah ^^ let's see what's going on during this session:

See how this zhabor got strangled by my brother! LOL Laugh die me

And yeah ;x I took this pic when she was watching tv. LOOK AT HER! LOL

OMG OMG, she is now nagging at me for posting her pictures in my blog. OK LA! Sorry for posting those pictures, I will take it down ^^ (after I die) ^^
HAHAHAH yea yea, now you are saying those pictures are nice. Of course it's nice ;x See who take de ^^v

And then here's our conversation:
[K.C.J.E] - kRiS - 下辈子, 下下辈子, 下下下辈子, 都希望你们是我家人 - Dad,we love you!!!!! says (7:32 PM):
eh
ass

` Yin ツ | Time To Work Hard; ILOVEYOU KRIS <333 says (7:32 PM):
LOLOL

[K.C.J.E] - kRiS - 下辈子, 下下辈子, 下下下辈子, 都希望你们是我家人 - Dad,we love you!!!!! says (7:32 PM):
sian uh

` Yin ツ | Time To Work Hard; ILOVEYOU KRIS <333 says (7:32 PM):
I just blog my blog
nice ma?
^^

[K.C.J.E] - kRiS - 下辈子, 下下辈子, 下下下辈子, 都希望你们是我家人 - Dad,we love you!!!!! says (7:32 PM):
-.-
walau
idiot
the leg high derHx dun post hoh
[K.C.J.E] - kRiS - 下辈子, 下下辈子, 下下下辈子, 都希望你们是我家人 - Dad,we love you!!!!! says (7:33 PM):
IDIOT
SO BIG

` Yin ツ | Time To Work Hard; ILOVEYOU KRIS <333 says (7:33 PM):
LOLOL

[K.C.J.E] - kRiS - 下辈子, 下下辈子, 下下下辈子, 都希望你们是我家人 - Dad,we love you!!!!! says (7:33 PM):
OI
OIOIOI

` Yin ツ | Time To Work Hard; ILOVEYOU KRIS <333 says (7:37 PM):
semo oi
LOL

[K.C.J.E] - kRiS - 下辈子, 下下辈子, 下下下辈子, 都希望你们是我家人 - Dad,we love you!!!!! says (7:41 PM):
u oi

` Yin ツ | Time To Work Hard; ILOVEYOU KRIS <333 says (7:41 PM):
LOL
what
since when i OI

[K.C.J.E] - kRiS - 下辈子, 下下辈子, 下下下辈子, 都希望你们是我家人 - Dad,we love you!!!!! says (7:41 PM):
pig ma

` Yin ツ | Time To Work Hard; ILOVEYOU KRIS <333 says (7:41 PM):
LOL
PIG IS OINK not OI

[K.C.J.E] - kRiS - 下辈子, 下下辈子, 下下下辈子, 都希望你们是我家人 - Dad,we love you!!!!! says (7:42 PM):
same larHx
gt OI rite?

See how stupid my sister is? LOLOL ;x

I'd quitted audi for good.

2009-08-17T19:29:00.007+08:00

Firstly, thanks to those who tagged in my tagboard. Thanks for your concern. I will eventually cheer up one day ^^
And yeah. I am here to blog once again. How fine am I today..probably a LIL better than yesterday, cause yesterday had been a really sucks day for me. Dad's 1 year anniversary already made me moody, thought I could try not to think too much by playing audi, who's know, tio dao-ed in audi, almost quarrel with somebody again. -.- lol...fine fine.

Don't need much explanation. Don't feel and even bother to give any explanation too. 6 simple words : ''I had quitted audi for good''
Don't bother to ask me go back to audi anymore. Audi seriously sucks to hell and sucks to core. I am leaving and NOT going back.

I finally realised what it means and how this whole things seems. Thanks. I hope it's not too late to leave now.
Leaving audi can bring me nothing but peace. I don't have to bother whatever shits hell you guys think it's funny on that yuru's stuff. I don't have to bother those shits like being blamed for whatever you can think of and YEA, I don't have to bother those shits like I am childish and those hurtful stuffs.

Anything related to AUDITIONSEA. IMA not gonna entertain or interfere. And I don't feel there's a need to. Yeah, just like what somebody said, AUDI is just a game so why put in all your effort and sweat, it just gonna turns out to be NOTHING.
All your care and all your concern will ended up in those drain, nobody will remembered at all. Give and take. That's what I'd finally realised.

Sorry for being too practical. Probably I'd seen enough shit things in my life. Audi had once been a place for me to released my stress but I guessed, this place had turned out to be the main cause for my stressed after I couple this particular person.

Last post regarding audi,
signed off by : -Sy~

Dad's 1 year anniversary

2009-08-16T16:47:00.003+08:00

It's my dad 1 year anniversary today. Getting pretty emotional....

Got some of those videos from xuan xuan's mother. Watched those videos with my mum , it's really heartbreaking. Imagine a man who's always laughing and smiling in those videos, he is laying dead and cold in that wooden coffin, his body is no longer in this world...how pathetic...all we left now are just those memories...
It'd already been 1 year since my dad passed away. Nothing changes, the Earth still rotate and the sun still rises but I know that deep in my heart, something in my life changes. Something that I think it can never be recovered. I miss you, dad. Watching those videos and pictures about him only makes me emo for the whole entire day.

I am speechless about my life and those problems that adult claims to be funny. It's 1 year anniversary on my father's death, but NO ONE from my dad's side came. Funny isn't it? 7 days, 49 days, 100 days and 1 year, I only saw my father's side (relatives) visited on the 7th and 100 days. Really speechless. They claimed they will take care of us after my father passed away. They tried their best to help us, but it only lasted for 1 month.

I know they are not as rich as my mother's side, I don't need them to help us financially. But..a call, a call to show that you are worried and you care about us doesn't hurt much..really...doesn't hurt much....I didn't get any call from them..NO CALLS...NO NOTHING...I have nothing left to say.

Mother's side (relatives) help us financially...I know they are nice...but...sometimes..they care too much...too much that they starts to interfere in my life and caused those sadness and stress....lol...funny isn't it? One side doesn't care or give a shit, the other side care too much and caused those stressed and chaos in my family...is it my fault for asking too much? Or is this what they call the inbalance in life...

If times ever goes back to the past, I will not sleep so early on that particular day. I will try to hang on even if I have a terrible headache...If I can stay late that night, I can probably change something...or do something to prevent all this from happening...

''Memories is a gift by someone, but sometimes this gift, brings nothing but tears ©'' by: Clare Zhou SiYin

Quitting audi soon.

2009-08-12T20:15:00.005+08:00

Had our 4th outing? or is it 5th? LOL Went to Sentosa to have some beach games and water games. Till then I realised WHY MOST OF OUR OUTINGS RELATED TO WATER DE! LOL Tio aim by Calvin, Boon and Sis. Tsk. Nice ganged up, bo bian have to use lav to cover me T_T SORRY LAV! Blame your husband for splashing me water =p

Getting bored with Audi recently -.- logging in and only 1-2 OR even NONE of my close friends online. Tsk. Pathetic. Guess I am quitting audi soon. Soon. ROFL.

Everyday gets to see that handsome Manager, satisfy le la HAHAHA. At least there's somebody for me to view at, cause it's really torturing for me to sit at my desk and there's nothing for me to do ==! I guess I have blame myself for that cause I finished my work faster than the rest! D: I did tried my best to do those stuffs slower ==! REALLY TRIED MY BEST OK D:<

Today had been the MOST boring day ever -.- 2 new contract workers came to our company, I was asked to introduce them to this company and tell them what they should and should not do. Then I have to go back to my desk and key in those information. Around 9am there's an announcement made. I have to go for some lessons, which I find it very boring ==! 5 talks! 9-4pm wth?
Each talk seems like a lullaby! I almost fell asleep! And I am trying my best to open my eyes ==! When there's a short break, the first thing I WILL do is to wash my sleepy face == because if I don't, I don't think I can hang on. LOL But seriously, I don't think this method works on me == cause I starts to feel sleepy when the presenter talk again D:<
Talks end around 3, reaching 4pm. Walked back to my office, do those stuffs that was left on my shelves when I was away -.- and here comes THE MEETING ==!!! Which, I must go too D:<
I missed my break time! In my whole entire life! I can resist anything but sleep and food D:< pfft T__T hope tomorrow won't be as busy and boring as today!!!

Cause I believe

2009-08-09T20:28:00.001+08:00

没原因就是喜欢你
在初次相遇有重逢的心情
深呼吸让心动隐形
完美的爱情是无声的旋律
听我听你不确定的语气
等我等你放下你的犹豫
嘿如果你轻轻闭上眼睛
我会明白你做的决定

Cause I Believe
那幸福不灭的定律
在你手心会有谁给你的美丽
静者恒静就让我的心安静地
守着你祝福不用回音

没原因就是喜欢你
就像海眷恋天空般的心情
你前进看着你背影
就足够世界无条件的放晴
你如果已爱上他的姓名
爱如果已没有我的空隙
嘿只要你可以永远开心
我会情愿渐渐被忘记

Cause I Believe
那幸福不灭的定律
在你手心会有谁给你的美丽
静者恒静就让我的心安静地
守着你把祝福送给你

Oh~ I believe
Cause I believe
那幸福不灭的定律
你的手心不一定要由我握紧
就像恒星总会有发光的原因
Oh~ I believe
你值得被珍惜
也值得我放弃

I don't know what's love and how to love a person.
Cupid's probably blind , for he always shoots the arrows at the wrong timing, resulting in heartbreak and regret from love.
And now
He shoots the arrows at the wrong person, resulting in dilema from love.

I want my salary D:

2009-08-08T09:23:00.002+08:00

Working really makes a huge difference in my life yeah. After I started working, when the time strikes 9 or 10pm, I will starts to feel tired. Before I started working, I can sleep at 1-2am without troubles ok! LOL Now, when the time strikes 9pm, I will drop dead on my comfy bed =3
Yesterday was a sad day for me T__T Saw those peeps got their salary but I didn't!! AHHHHH Shyt D:<
I can only receive my salary next month on the 7th! wu wu wu, sad die. SO LONG D:
And yeah, yesterday went to cut my long fringe. LOL! And now, I look like a nerdy xmm ==! Thanks to you uh, barber D:<
This morning mum said brother is treating us for lunch! He got his salary! HAHAHAH YAY XD wondered where will he treat us =X hope not those hawker centre uh xD
Time to prepare!
<3 KMA PBT~~! <3 My Family~~!

Time to work hard.

2009-08-05T20:30:00.002+08:00

Reached home at around 8pm last night, didn't know what to say to my mum. Brother was there to welcome me home, asked if I am ok. I tried to answer nicely, but, I guessed I failed. Kris sis was worried about me, but I ignored. I know I am being a bitch yesterday.

Thanks to my brother's $90, I began to talk to my mum again. It all went so naturally, I can see she's trying her best to communicate with me again. Then, she suddenly pat my head gently and said ''这个工作你要好好做.'' I almost cried out. At that moment, I realised, she's sad too. I was too angry yesterday that I forgot my mum is a victim in this situation too. She and I was being nagged, but I only think for myself. How unfilial am I? lol...

This morning woke up at 3am and couldn't sleep back. Tried my very best to sleep -.- and finally fell back to sleep at 4am? Woke up at around 6.50am and starts to wash up. My mum woke up with me. She prepared everything for me. I know she's worried about me. How nice of her.

Pray to my dad, told him ''I go to work le oh'', pretend I am fine and walked out of the house. I don't know why, probably I missed my dad too much, probably I feel guilty for what I did to my mum yesterday, my tears starts to fall. Took the cab to my workplace, received call from my mum. ''When you lunchbreak le call me ah'' that moment I can guarantee, she's worried about me. T__T

Called her during my break time, told her I am doing fine. People over here treats me well too. They are funny peeps. and I am kinda comfortable with this job. Heard her laughter again makes me feel content. Seriously, I will do what I can to make my mum feels happy.

Dad is watching over me somewhere, I know it all along. He will protect me. So does my mum. I love you, mum and dad, you guys are the most wonderful parents on earth!

Better of be dead.

2009-08-04T20:33:00.008+08:00

Not really a good day for me. Found this fucking job, supposed to work tomorrow but things starts to fall apart today.
Quarrelled with my mum this morning.
Supposed to buy those office wear this afternoon, it was all cancelled.
Thoughts that had been kept in my mind for long, thoughts that I'd always think, it's best not to say out, I said out today. Screamed, Cried, Seriously. I am tired of my life now. With those fucking unnecessary people around. :- IS THIS THE LIFE I SHOULD LEAD AFTER DAD PASSED AWAY? DAD PASSED AWAY IS MY FAULT? IS THIS WHAT I SHOULD FACE? THIS KIND OF LIFE. IT'S MY LIFE! MY EFFING LIFE, WHY MUST PEOPLE INTERFERE?! I AM JUST WAITING FOR A BETTER JOB. 1 MONTH $1000 PAY, WHO WILL WORK?! CAN'T I JUST WAIT FOR A BETTER JOB? I ALSO WISH TO LIGTHEN UP YOUR BURDEN, I DIDN'T SAY I DON'T WANNA WORK. YOU THINK $1000 IS ENOUGH?! IS ENOUGH FOR US TO LEAD A BETTER LIFE? WHY MUST THEY CARE? WHY MUST THEY KPKB SO MUCH? IF IT'S NOT BECAUSE FOR YOU GET BACK A LIL ''FACE'' AND STOP THEIR EFFING NAGGING, YOU THINK I WANT TO WORK THIS KIND OF JOB?! I PLAY COMPUTER IS JUST LIKE YOU WATCHING YOUR TV. TELEVISION IS YOUR ENTERTAINMENT, COMPUTER IS MY ENTERTAINMENT. TO BE HONEST, AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE TO CARE WHAT THOSE BASTARDS AND BITCHES SAID WHEN I PLAY AUDI. I DON'T HAVE TO CARE! I FUCKING HATE ''TENG's FAMILY'' NOW and I just started crying and crying . Seriously, i think i really lost control today..But I don't know anymore. I have a thought like, better off be dead. Like dad, then they won't say I am a useless person, a person who only know how to play computer and didn't help up the family. My existance is just causing a waste in this family. MY AS WELL BE DEAD!

Just now took the train to BoonLay to find Lucas, looking at those MRT railway, I wondered, how will it be like if I just jump down from there. How good will it be. lol

Before meeting Lucas, I went to buy lunch for mum, bet she's hungry too. We just shared a piece of bread this morning. Seriously, I really hope and wish to bring my mum out for lunch and then go to that raffles place to sign contract with me. If it's not because of that baby, who is sick - fever, flu and cough, and that nbcb fking baby's mother , who didn't work, but she don't wanna take care of her own baby, I guess all this that's happening today, wouldn't happened. She's not working today, her baby daughter is sick, she still asked my mum to take care of her baby, it's funny though, it's her child, isn't it normal for a mum to take care of her own child when the baby is sick? Just show how lazy this ass mother is.

Went to mac for lunch, thanks to lucas for making some jokes at times, I was cheered up a little, then went to raffles place. Sis sms me, I told her what happened, she jitao fly out from her house and come find me. Really thanks to her. We went to NEBO at Pasir Ris, played those funny games. And really, those games made my day. The Uno Stacker, Chinese Chess, and there's this funny game called ''SUPERSTAR''.

Calvin tay was terribly disturbed by us LOL. Cause there's a mission like, saying iloveyou to opposite sex or same sex. -.-! Lynn, Lucas and I took turn tio this mission. Suay die. LOL.
Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCED TO LYNN SIS! :] ONE YEAR OLDER LE. THANKS FOR EVERYTHING TODAY =]

KMA 3rd outing!~

2009-08-03T11:18:00.000+08:00

Yesterday went out with my uncle's family again. -.- Mum and grandma starts to nag at me '' buy some office-wear la, blablabla '' cause I don't have a single piece of clothing that's suitable for office work? ROFL. And yeah, after came back home from lunch and shopping, I head over to amk to meet lynn. She said it's her treat to toastbox. LOL. -.- AMK! RED LINE D: I took...40 minutes? To reach there -.-

After I reached amk, sis sms me,''pretend you don't know us, let calvin guess which is you.'' LOL I walked passed them, Calvin didn't even know about it? LOL, then I went to find Lucas who is standing in front and ''BOO'' He shocked tio HAHAHA, Laugh die me.
Then we walked around that AMK place, which I don't know what's the name of that place LOL and yeah, trying to find an escalator OR a lift to go up to 3rd floor - kpool. Finally, after a few walked, we found a staircase! Though the staircase looks abit haunted LOL!

Trying to sneak in, but didn't take much of an effort LOL, just hand over my IC and all can go in? WOW. So yeah, I was laughing like mad yesterday, especially when it's Lucas's turn. Calvin and Lynn ganged up, said if he hit our ''life'' ball into the hole, we will do what to him in kma or whatever HAHAHA. And yeah, ended up, Calvin, Lynn, Lucas and Me ganged up to bully boon. Say what KMA united, KILL SHC LOLOL!!!
Laugh si. Boon starts to complain how unfair we are =X and yeah, he's undergoing some mental stress over there. LOL
After pooling, we went to have our dinner at Fish & Co. LOL. and yeah, some funny things happened. Like this so called Seafood Pizza, Calvin said should be ''Seafood Bread'' Cause the base is exactly the delifrance's bread? LOL
Then yeah, funniest day ever ~ Let's have another outing together again LOL, probably this coming sunday? National day LOL! We'll see about it +_+

Is this what I should faced?

2009-07-31T10:03:00.002+08:00

Going for another interview today LOL! $1000 per month -.- nice pay ~~ But, my instinct tells me that, even with this kind of pay, for my mum's sake, I will work. Work with this kind of pay.

Why is it for my mum's sake? Cause people keeps comparing -.- and my mum turns out to be a person who loves to compare too. If I work, she will gain back a lil ''face'' from those relatives and friends. Which I seriously don't know why, why the fxck must they care ? rofl....
It's my life eh, MY LIFE! So why must people interfere my life ? I don't know -.- seriously, they ''jiak ba siu eng?'' Too free bo taiji do? I GUESS this is what most aunties and ass-es do.
It makes my heartache when my mum told grandma ''when her dad is alive, he don't mind she got job anot, she can find slowly, now he passed away, outsiders at there kpo for what?'' and I really wondered, is this what I should faced when I lost a father? This kind of life..seriously ..

Can you guys stop testing my patience? You want to see how a volcano erupt? It's not gonna be a NICE thing to view at, so please, before I volcano erupt on you guys, stop please. I don't kpkb on relatives, doesn't mean I don't know how. I remain silence doesn't mean you guys can do whatever you want? So please -.- before I spam one post specially for you, a post that's never gonna be anything good. Please ok, don't make me do that. If not, it's not gonna be just one post that simple ^^, I do what I say. That's me. So STOP TESTING MY PATIENCE ^^

Some times I wondered, even if I really got a job for today's interview, can this job guarantee me to have a Peaceful and Simple Life I always wish for? I doubt so sometimes. Rofl, I guess, eh Kris sis, you should know why la uh. I wondered if this sacrifice I made is worth it...will I get what I want after I work....really wondered..

I hate this person :]

2009-07-30T11:38:00.004+08:00

How long has it been? How many hundred times have I answer ''How are you'', this question? After my father's death, going back to school, holding back those tears, it's really torturing for me. Really...those days are still fresh in my mind. The day my father fell, the day of cremation, the day of going back to school again...
''How are you?'' my friends and teachers would ask with hestitant smiles. ''Fine, I'm fine.'' was always my reply, because what was I supposed to do, tell them the truth? And then they'd exhale with relief and quickly change the subject. I couldn't really blame them; they'd known my dad well.

Seriously, I wondered how can I stand up again. With that big smile on my face. Like nothing ever happens, like, my father is still alive again. And it becomes a habit now, that, when my friends quarrel with their parents, I will always tell them not to, cause they will regret somedays. Because I'd experienced it myself? So I know how much it hurts and how regretful I am now.

I am not a strong girl..never one. I am just a normal girl. A girl who cry now and then when things happened, a girl who need somebody, who is trustworthy, who is there to help her by just listening and accompany her go through those obstacles -.-

I seems like those patience girls but the fact is ; I am not. I don't like it when people starts to put names on me, things like homo, things like those freaking nightmare I'd been through. It's not I wanted to been through those stuffs. I just don't know why I am too soft-hearted that very moment. -.- And seriously, the owner of this nightmare is the person I hates now. I hate this person more than anything. Don't ask me why, cause this person causes what I am suffering now. Holding those names like homo etc. When the fact is, I am a anti-homo person.

But still, I have to blame myself -.- for being such a stupid ass that time. And yeah, I woke up. Finally woke up. And this time, I don't give a damn anymore. More people say about this person and this nightmare to me, it just increases my hatred to this person. :]
I wonder though, why are people laughing when it's not funny?

-.- I don't know anymore

2009-07-29T15:13:00.003+08:00

Seems to have a lil problem in audi yesterday night. After months of MIA-ing in audi there seems to be a lot more dogs in lobby now. Seriously, what's so fun about spamming? But still, most of the time I will be in a room playing or stay in a room to prevent any flood chat. I couldn't stand my chats being flooded up by unncessary spam.
Yesterday night, when I was playing in a CC4 room, Brenda said there's a show in lobby. Allan and Miracle kp-ing each other.
At first I was just being ''cool'' by saying ''hi'' to peeps I met in lobby, also, it's fun to read those kp-ing, especially when those kp-ing showed how stupid and childish they are. BUT when the chaos carried from lobby to a room, Miracle suddenly insulted KMA. Which I, must stand in this time. Because seriously. Why are you dragging KMA in -.-? And also, calling KMA weak when all you know is HACK in a game? Trust me, EVEN if KMA is a noob fam, AT LEAST, we don't hack ^^ that's what I retorted and resulted in being kicked out from the room -.- My patience seriously drop to 0 at that moment. Wanted to go back to that room but suddenly calvin asked me to go to his room. After a few talks with Calvin, Brenda and Allan, I guess we missed out something important this time. Even though we recruited alot of members BUT, we did not tell them the importance of holding up a fam's names and reputation. Calvin suggested to have a meetings with those new members. I agreed, so does Brenda. This meetings will probably be held this coming weekend. Since weekend is the day most people will on ~.

About my current life now. It's basically nothing much. I missed my interview last monday, thanks to the food poisoning, not forgetting the flu is making it worst.
Went to see the doctor, got an injection T.T , took those pills and went home to rest. Guess I have to wait for the agent to call again. No work at the moment.

Time travels so fast sometimes. It's already one year since my father's death. I still couldn't get over with it. I don't know why. I guess it's normal? Who will be able to get over with this pain and sadness? Especially when your dad is the nicest and caring dad in this world. Even though I cannot get over with the pain, I moved on. (I guessed)

Mum has been nagging and nagging at me. Time to get a job, time to get serious. Stop all this online games. You should grow up. Actually her nagging meant well for me, but sometimes because of those unnecessary interruption by Grandma and uncle's wife, things got worst. Her tempers flared up and that's the time I will quarrel with her again -.-
Not that I don't wanna find a job, I am waiting for the agent to call, waiting for those company's approval but nobody understands. All they know is to follow the crowd. Especially grandma, all she know is to nag at me, when sometimes, she don't even know what she is nagging for/at. -.- I don't know what to do anymore. Probably there will be a time, a time for me to get serious. If that day ever come. That will probably be the day I stop online gaming.

Sunday~Outing.

2009-07-26T22:28:00.006+08:00

Rofl. Time to do some updating.
Been preparing for my job interview this coming Monday, wish me luck peeps LOL and also helping out with my mum's cpf stuffs, chionging fps when channel was bought not forgetting my flu etc had been bothering me for week, I'd became kinda short-tempered and crazy this few days. Quarrelled with my cousin in audi, which I don't even know why my patience reached my limit that early morning. Friends in Bl had been complaining to me about their relationship, their life. Tried my best to comfort them, but still, I am not really good at doing those jobs. -.- so I guess it didn't help much. I am always there when friends needed me, and yeah, I must really thank my sis, Lynn, for being there when I need a listening ear too. LOL
Went to Orchard this morning with my family and uncles'. The new shopping mall that's officially opened, named Ion. With lots of branded shop in there. Such as, Gucci, Lv, -.- etc~
Really bth my uncle's daughter. The youngest daughter likes to get jealous when I play with her sister -.-? She keeps holding on to my hands, I can't walk anywhere I want -.-! There's time I'd no choice but to agree to my sis, Kris : When I go out with my 1st uncle, my cousin , Carina will always stick to me, when I go out with my 3rd uncle, my cousin, wanling will always stick to me. There's never a time I can walk or have a peaceful time. ==?
Walk for a few rounds in this ''branded'' shopping mall, I went separate ways , took the train to vivo to find lynn, boon and Lucas aka Currypuff. ROFL. We were kinda lame today. Went to the TimeZone and played some games, Boy Vs Girl on that stupid machine, 1 : 1. Draw. LOL.
Then went to Chinatown to have our steamboat Dinner;
Boon , the so-called ''chef'', gave me a half-boiled egg which tasted really gross -.-!
Lucas and Boon didn't eat much though they are GUYS! LOL Left me and sis eating those share == But still, I couldn't eat much too, ended up sis ''bao ga liao'' LOL. We wasted more than 100g of foods - There's rule stated : Waste 100g of foods penalty $10. We'd been covering those foods with shell etc. But still, I must thank god that the steamboat didn't turned out to be the gross and digusting scene it had once been. ;x
While eating those foods, sis said ''eh, somebody tried the spicy one, see nice anot.'' So I took a spoon of the soup and took a small sip - giving that ''OH DAMN NICE'' look. LOL then lucas didi asked me, ''nice anot?'' I say ''ya, very nice. You try'' He took a spoonful of soup and drink it. Then he started to pant and say ''WA LAO, SO SPICY'' LOL!!!! Make sis, boon and me laugh like mad over there. rofl!
Then after sneaking out of the steamboat stall, we head over to parklane at Douby Ghaut to play pool. LOL. Played for a few hours, I'd been laughing with those jokes made by Lucas and Sis. They shoot in their own ball, OR, they shoot in the white ball instead of the opponent's ball. Bth this 2 LOL.
After few rounds of games, we walk our way to Doubt Ghaut station and made our way home and so yeah, I am here now blogging. LOL~ Anyway~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUCAS DIDI ^^ One year older le ohhh! HAHAHA

KMA PBT!!!

2009-07-24T22:02:00.000+08:00

and yeah~ I am back to audi AGAIN- with Sis aka -St~, CalvinT aka -PiakDieYou~ and his cpl Lav aka -PokeDieYou~, Allan aka -FOREVER~ and Brenda aka -BRENNIE.
Been trying really hard this few weeks to rebuild back the old kma.
MIA together with some members for quite sometimes and KMA became such a mess. Fps tio drained. Lose overtake Win. ==" Supposedly to be rank 42, it fly UP to 11X ranking. Nice die. But still, we had let those drainers taste their own medicine ^^. Fav quote by sis: Revenge is always sweet.
Yesterday, KMA managed to buy novice 1 from morning till night. We took this chance to recruit new members while earning fps.. -trying to make KMA back to how lively it should be.
Let's work hard together. ^^ Just like KMA motto: Bonded As One , United As One . And we can do it. lol
Seems like there will be another KMA outing, really looking forward to it. But still , I hope my flu, fever, cough and sorethroat can recover as soon as possible -.- It's driving me nuts with that hoarse voice!
*cough cough* Time to sleep.
KMA HUAT~ <3